You've Always Had My Heart
by GEM8
Summary: Samantha is in the middle of a hostage crisis in the Table of Contents. The events inside the bookstore cause her to take a look at her life and her relationship with Jack Malone. She realises just how much she depends on him JS.


Title: You've Always Had My Heart

Author: GEM

Rated: T

Author's Note: This is my first WAT fic. It goes back to season one, namely Fallout and uses dialogue from that episode and WYNOHYEB. I would like to thank DianeM for betaing this Feedback is appreciated. Italics are taken from the episodes

"_Tell him I don't want to speak to him until I get my helicopter."_

"_But I really don't want to get in the middle of this, okay? I-I…_

"_No. No. Tell him ... tell him that you're scared, I'm crazy, and if I don't get what I want ... I'm going to start throwing bodies ... out that door there." Barry points the gun at Samantha and she quickly sees her life flash before her eyes. She's been in lots of standoffs with suspects who point guns at her but this is the first time she is truly scared. She thinks about her life, her family, about Jack. She is brought out of her thoughts when she hears Barry—the unstable suspect yell at her and wave his gun around once again. "Do it!"_

_Samantha slowly gets up off of the floor. She walks up to the phone. Samantha tries her best to act the part she's playing. This was the chance she'd been waiting for; Jack would be on the other end of the phone. She picks up the receiver slowly and answers it. _

"_Hello?"_

"_Whom am I speaking to?" _Jack's all too familiar voice fills her body with joy. Jack always had a calming affect on her and she feels her body relax as she goes on playing her part. She still has a job to do.

"_This is Samantha." Samantha waits for the next question she knows will come._

"_Barry listening, Samantha?"_

_Barry yells to Samantha again. " Tell him what I told you. Tell him."_

_Samantha turns back and stutters into the phone. "H-he-he wants me to tell you that he's crazy, and if you don't give him what he wants, he's going to start shooting people."_

"_A-a-and that I'm not joking..." Jack hears Barry add from the background. Barry continues to give Samantha instructions. _

"_Okay, I can hear him in the background. Um, can you tell me how many hostages there are, including you?"_

Samantha knows the drill this is their code. She knows what Jack wants from her and she knows how to explain it to him. _ "You've got five minutes to give us an answer."_

"_Okay. I've got Libby, Fran, and Robert. Is that right?"_

"_I would say that there are two to one odds that somebody is going to freak out if you don't get us the hell out of here. You understand?"_

Jack turns to Martin, still holding the phone to his ear. He has a job to do; he has to get them out of there. He has to get Samantha out of there, but right now he knows she is alive and he is holding onto the phone like a lifeline_. "Okay, two of them are right. One of them is off." Jack turns his attention back to the phone. "Who am I missing?"_

"_You want to talk to the guy who works here?" Samantha turns to Barry and sees Richard searching for the gun she hid earlier. She stays focused on Jack and getting him the information he needs to get them out of here. She turns to Barry. "He wants to talk to Ted."_

_Barry stands in front of Samantha. "Why?"_

"_I don't know."_

" _No! Tell him to forget it."_

Samantha gets back on the phone with Jack. She can feel her heart rate increase. This is getting out of hand. Richard is getting closer to the gun and Barry is unstable at best_. "No. He says forget it."_

"_That's nice work, Sam."_ She silently takes a breath but her relief is short lived. Richard is getting closer to the gun. This guy could really screw this up.

Samantha urgently speaks into the phone. She plays the scared hostage the best she can. _"Listen, everybody really wants to the get hell out of here, okay?"_

I know we are through, but it would be nice to be in your arms right now watching an old movie, in the movie house across the street, or my apartment--, Samantha thinks as she waits for Jack to speak on the other end of the line.

Jack picks up on the subtle change in Samantha's voice immediately. _"Is there something wrong?"_

Samantha watches Richard move closer to her bag. Her heart rate is increasing again. Samantha speaks loudly into the phone. _"We're really glad you're making progress..."_

Richard glances at Samantha and she tries to tell him to stop what he's doing, but it seems to have little effect," _... because we all really want to get the hell out of here. You know what I'm saying?"_

"_What's going on in there, Samantha? Is somebody hurt?" Jack asks trying his best stay objective._

" _No. Nobody's going to do anything stupid."_

"_What's he saying?"_ a paranoid Barry asks. He turns in just enough time to see Richard near the shelf and he runs toward him _"Hey!"_

Richard makes a move to grab the gun and stand as Barry runs toward him. Samantha watches the struggle, drops the phone, and runs toward the two of them. Both men struggle with each other, and the gun fires.

Jack stands rooted in his place with his heart in his throat as he listens to the silence and the struggle on the other end of the phone. Something hits the floor, the sound of men fighting and then another gunshot.

Jack's eyes dart back and forth as he clutches the phone and listens. He's so helpless, and all he can do is wait but, what he really wants to do is go and help them…help her…

Jack turns his attention back to the phone. He has to get Samantha's attention. _"Samantha? ... Samantha…? Sam!? Sam!"_ There was nothing on the other end of the phone.

---

Samantha hits the floor in pain. In a matter of seconds her life flashes before her eyes. The pain is white hot and unrelenting. She doesn't know what happened but she can hear Jack yelling… is that Jack? Is it a dream? Is this a dream? No…it isn't. It was a drop, a drop that has gone terribly wrong.

She looks down at her leg. She's bleeding and she has to stop it. Barry is a disturbed man, but he's not a murderer. She holds her sweatshirt tightly against the wound. She can hear Libby and the rest screaming and crying at the scene before them.

"Ted."

"Yeah." The young man kneels down next to her.

"We have to elevate my leg."

"Okay…Okay…" Moments later Samantha's leg is up on a table and she is lying on the floor, with a now blood-soaked sweatshirt tied around her leg.

She can't go to sleep she can't go to sleep. If she does she'll never wake up. She has to keep Barry focused. She needs to get back into contact with Jack-- Jack the love of her life. She needs to stay alive for him. She needs to make sure he won't do anything stupid.

In her pain-altered state she can't hear what Barry is telling him, but she thought she heard him say that no one was shot.

A few minutes later Barry relents and tells Jack what happened Samantha is coherent enough to hear the displeasure in Jack's voice.

"_You've been jerking me around for 45 minutes, Barry."_

" _I found her badge, Jack! She's one of yours."_

"_Okay, Barry, look. I'm really sorry I didn't tell you. I just thought by telling you it'd make the situation worse. But the most important thing is that we have to get medical attention to Samantha now. Do you understand me? Now."_

Samantha continues to pant through the increasing pain, and she hopes Barry will listen. Jack…focus on Jack… She focuses on the sound of his voice in her ear and the feel of his touch on her skin. Jack is her savior. Jack is the one who will get her out of this, but at what cost? It's sure to be a cost to him in some way. She always worried about what he would do if they were put in this situation. Barry has to listen to him. Jack is trying to help both of them.

"_Well, why-why can't you just send a doctor in here?"_

"_'Cause I can't do that."_

"_Why the hell not?"_

"_Because I have no guarantee that you'll let him go, and then I've given you another hostage. Let me talk to Samantha."_

Sam hears Jack say her name on the other end of the phone. _That's it, Jack, play it by the book; don't do anything stupid._

"_Why?"_

"_Because she's the person best qualified to tell me what's wrong with her." _

Barry remains silent. Samantha prays silently that Barry will do what Jack has asked.

"_Come on, Barry. Just do it!"_

"_Okay."_

"_What?" _Samantha asks in a pain-induced fog. Barry holds the phone to her ear.

"_Hello? I can't hear. Hello?"_

"_Samantha." _Jack says her name softly like an angel. She closes her eyes for a moment and remains quiet before speaking.

"_Yeah."_

"_How bad is it?" _

Samantha can tell that he has already blamed himself. She grits her teeth in pain _"It's my leg. I'm pretty sure it's a through-and-through. Listen, it was an accident. Jack, don't go tactical!" _

Barry pulls the phone away from her. _"Hey, maybe you could just get some supplies in here, okay?"_

Samantha thinks fast and helps Barry ask for things they need. "_Blankets."_

"_We could use some blankets."_

"_Gauze."_

"_Gauze, and, uh, and maybe some more water."_

Jack writes the list on a piece of paper as Barry talks and then turns his attention back to Samantha and the hostages in the _Table of Contents._ _"Now, Barry, I want you to listen to me, and listen to me very carefully..."_

Barry shouts into the phone _"No! No, you listen to me!"_ Barry grabs the phone and walks back to the counter. _"You lied to me._ _You know she's been here this whole time, and you've been talking to her on the phone, probably had some sort of, uh, uh, uh ... coded messages. You know, you say you want to work this out together. That's how you do it -- by lying to me? You want to help her? You send in a doctor."_ Barry slams the phone down angrily.

Samantha turns her head away from the other hostages and lets a single tear slide down her cheek. She knows that Jack will get her out, but at the moment. She's afraid that she will die before he can do it. She was losing a lot of blood and the pain is getting worse. She's cold and her breathing is difficult.

There's so much that she wants to tell Jack, so much that she won't get a chance to say. First off that she doesn't care what people have said about them, their affair may be over but they still mean more to each other than either of them is willing to admit. She is still in love with Jack Malone. Samantha knows that his marriage fell apart and she knows that he's trying to put it back together but, she's also certain that she needs him in her life as more than just her boss in order to survive. The sound of his voice and the memories of his touch are the only thing keeping her alive at this moment.

Samantha knows her condition is grave. They need to talk Barry down but she doesn't see any reason to send in the SWAT team. She's cold, yet, sweating, her leg was throbbing, and her breathing hasn't improved.

In her shock-induced fog she hears a voice yelling in the street. _"Come to the door. I want to talk to you! Come on, Barry, open the door!" _Jack? It's Jack.

Jack begins to shout again. _"Open the door! I want to talk!"_

Barry unlocks and opens the door and sees Jack standing in front of the store a good distance away. Jack sees that Barry has a hold of Ted and holds the gun to his forehead.

Barry yells out the door. "Who the hell are you?"

Samantha struggles to turn her head to look out the door at Jack. She can hear his voice but she can't see through Barry and Ted.

"_I'm the guy you've been talking to. Jack Malone, FBI."_

"_Well, what do you want?"_

"_I want to come in."_

No Jack, no don't, I'm not worth it. No don't, you've already let go of your family. Don't throw your career away. Don't die on me. Maria will never forgive me if you die. She'll never forgiven me anyway—but think of the girls. Samantha waited in agony. She wants to get out of here, but not like this-- the cost is too high.

"_No way!"_

Jack walks toward the door still talking to Barry. _"Yeah, yeah, come on, let me in..."_

Jack takes off his tie and jacket. He lifts his shirt.

"Look, I got nothing, all right?! Nothing! Nothing! No gun. I'm not wired ... Nothing, see?"

Barry yells back. "What do you want?"

"I want Samantha!"

Samantha is lying on the floor, pale and shivering, fully aware that Jack is just beyond that door and she is hoping that he will get her out safely.

"_Why should I give her to you?"_

Jack takes cautious steps toward the door of the bookstore "_Because she is bleeding to death ... and I know that you're not a murderer!"_

That's it, Jack. Samantha watches as Jack pushes past Barry and walks over toward her. She starts to cry. It's partially because of the shock, the loss of blood, but also because of the sacrifice she knows he is about to make for her. She knows she will be leaving any moment in his strong, warm arms, but she also knows that her leaving will come with a price.

_How you doing, sweetheart?_

"_I'm okay."_

Jack knows that is a lie and rubs her arm as she begins to cry.

Jack soothes her quietly _"Okay."_ Jack glances back a Barry and then to Samantha. He begins to speak to her in the soft gravelly voice she loves. _"I'm going to get you out of here."_

Samantha is calm but still clearly in shock. _"'Kay. Okay_." Samantha knows that getting out of here will be a painful experience. Jack puts his hand around the back of her neck and helps Samantha up. The two struggle a bit and Samantha is in obvious pain with every movement.

"_Okay, grab me."_

Samantha nods and puts her arms around Jack as he lifts her up off of the floor. She hangs on to him and he starts to move toward the front door. Jack carries her out of the bookstore and to the empty bench just outside the bookstore.

"_Easy,"_ Jack says as he moves his arms from underneath her leg.

Samantha grits her teeth in pain _"Oh, God."_

Jack looks at her, his hand lingering on the back of her head. Samantha reaches out and cups Jack's cheek with her bloodied hand. She wants to kiss him but she can't she doesn't have the strength. She settles on reassuring him that she is fine. "I'm okay."

Jack rubs the back of her neck and then says quietly. _"Be back soon, okay?" _

Samantha is in so much pain that all she can do is nod. _"Mm-hmm."_

Jack grabs her arm and backs away from her. She needs that extra second of contact in that second, and she hopes that in the end they will both be all right.

Samantha resists the urge to cry again as she watches him go back into the bookstore. She wants to yell to him not to go back. She needs him. She doesn't want to go to the hospital alone. It's her fault that he was going in there. She may never see him alive again. She wants to tell him how much he really means to her. She wants to scream that she loves him, but he was gone in what seemed like a flash and the SWAT team and paramedics were around her in a heartbeat.

----

Samantha was whisked away in an ambulance after speaking with Martin. She was asked a lot of questions and she didn't remember the answers she gave to any of them. When she arrived at the ER. She was rushed into a trauma room. The only things she remembered there was the bright lights, how cold she felt, a nurse telling she would feel better soon and then a fuzzy warm feeling before everything went dark.

---

She could feel someone in the room with her, but she didn't know whom it was. They were quiet but there was something familiar about them. It was a smell that she remembered well, and even in her drug-induced haze she was certain it was Jack. She tried to wake up but her body wasn't ready. She tried to reach out and will her mind to move her mouth but it wouldn't. She only wanted to tell him thank you and that she would be all right.

---

When she finally awoke she found a vase of brightly colored flowers on the bedside table and a note on the tray in front of her. The handwriting was all too familiar,-- it was Jack's.

She reached for the note and unfolded it. She concentrated on the writing,-- his writing-- as she read:

_Dear Sam,_

_I never truly knew what you meant to me until tonight. I have no desire to cause you any further pain. I have caused you too much already. I put you in harm's way and for that I will never forgive myself. I am sorry. Samantha, I care for you deeply and I will always love you, but like I told you last week, what we had was good, but it's over. My girls need their father and I have to try to make this work for their sakes. I hope you can understand and will forgive me. _

_Know that today was the longest day of my life. If I had lost you I would never forgive myself. I will always love you, that will never ever change. You are my life, Sam. You are where my heart truly lies._

_Love always,_

Jack 

It hurt to know that it was over but they had discussed it weeks ago. Samantha knew it was over. Until today she didn't realize how much she come to depend on Jack as a man. She was and still is in love with him, but she will have to love him from afar, for the sake of his girls. It was nice to know that she will always have a piece of his heart. In turn Jack would always have a piece of hers.


End file.
